If you have read my blog for long, you know that all things have two sides. Today I want to share 6 common habits that are holding you back and how to stop. We as humans often associate habits as being bad, but you likely have formed some good ones like how often and when you bathe or exercise. These become something we call rituals. We fill our world with both.
These things may not be in your life; this is a blog about changes and living the very best life you can. Maybe you like me, feel a reminder never hurts and often helps. Life is a journey we take, and some experiences grow us, and we must reconnect with what we want to keep as rituals or good habits in our life and deeply breathe while we let go of other habits that have little or no usefulness in our lives.
For me, it is like that great top in the back of my closet I kept for two years without ever wearing it because the right occasion never happened. Well, it is out of style now, and I should have donated it 2 years ago to the women’s’ shelter. Do it now by the way. Stop holding on to what doesn’t belong to you. Today let’s talk about the first 3 of the 6 common habits that are holding you back.
6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back
One of the things I like to express is that I too am human. I am learning and growing like each of you. Some writers talk about being vulnerable. Be authentic; this leads to confidence. It took me time to develop it. If you are starting your journey, I have years of personal practice and decades of helping clients that all qualify me as someone who can speak from their heart authentically.
1. The Comparison Game
Have you ever look at another person and thought wow they have a great life or hair? Our competitive world pushes us into a mindset to compare ourselves to others. Recently 2 clients were doing this. Friends they talked openly about ways they compared themselves. One felt she was left out of many events because she did not fit in and compared her lack of friends to the other person’s endlessly full calendar.
It was almost like a competition to see who could do more things with more people! People do this in their careers, with their children’s lives, and most aspects of life. It is the comparison game. We do it because we do not feel worthy. Lack of self-worth leads to low self-esteem and dips your confidence.
When I find myself doing this, I use this tool. A simple mantra I say to myself, “I am at my best when I am being me and not trying to be someone else.” Then I say, “I am right where I am supposed to be, and all things are always getting better for me.”
Stop comparing yourself to others. So what if someone else has a fuller schedule. Do they do many of the things you do that aren’t socially motivated? Comparing closes you off from receiving more. Once she stopped trying to be someone else or want what others had, new invitations arrived in her email.
The Biggest Problem For Most People – 6 Common Habits That Are Holding You Back
2. The Habit Of Dwelling On The Past
Have you ever read a storybook to a child? They love to read the same tale over and over again. It becomes a bedtime ritual in many cases. We do this with our life story too. Our brain chemistry is setup to store data by connecting images so having a story line was useful in the early years. This adventure into never-never land though should slow and stop as we grow. If possible humans far out live and enjoy life more than those that don’t drop the use of dwelling on the past. Back to brain chemistry, the more emotional an event is for us, the more potent the memory and the details. The easier it is to associate life and other things around it.
Doing this is a waste of precious time because the past no longer exists. Doing this can make you sick physically. A rise in blood pressure is proof of this. When this happens because ‘the boss is having a rough day, remember it is his/her day, not yours. Own your space and don’t start recalling how they are from the past, just stay present.
Harder to do with the family? I got your back. When you are not with the people who ‘trigger’ you practice living now. It is hard; it is frustrating and at one time I would not have felt comfortable sharing that with you. I know it is honest and that if I can do it, you can too. As a ‘life-changer coach,’ this is my work. I lived it, and I do it with others daily. Support is available if you decide not to do it alone.
Doing on your own: every time you start to think of something in your past gently pull yourself back to what you are doing and think about it. If you are cooking dinner, a favorite past time of useless dwelling for me and many others, talk about what you are cooking. Do it out loud. If your family tells you to pipe down, ask them to help cook.
3. The Little Things Do Not Matter
This 1 of the 6 common habits that are holding you back creates drama. Did Susan talk to you today she barely seemed to realize you were in the room, you say in your mind. We all have done this it is called obsessing over the little things. Later you find out she is in terrible back pain and taking medication until surgery. It was not about you, get over it.
Little things matter. Like the first time you go for a hike and see a deer or you finally make a great pie. My favorite when you realize your thoughts have power. It is not so little, but that is the point even the little things come from you. Let your powerful thoughts create great things, good things for you.
How To Stop These 6 Common Habits Is To Replace Them
Part tow we talk about the other 3 habits holding you back. By now you are getting a sense that two things can help. First replace them with something else that works for you. Second perhaps work with a Lifestyle Coach, like me!
If you practice the tools here, you will be well on your way to living a better life. Don’t compare yourself to others you are worthy; please know this about yourself. Stop dwelling on the past because you are waiting for you in this present moment which can’t get through if you are stuck elsewhere. Finally, the little things often aren’t about you and only add drama.
Rituals and habits are interchangeable. Both can be good or not so great so decide what is worth keeping in your life. These three habits aren’t going to improve you or the world around you. If you enjoyed part one of 6 common habits that are holding you back, please tell others or share us!