You may be wondering who I am. Truth be told I’m just like you someone who struggled with figuring out my life and career. Growing up in a small steel mill town many people might say my family was liberal which seemed at odds with the conservative beliefs around us. Folks settled for their lot in life. I always had bigger dreams.
My parents both came from a place of having nothing to enjoying something. Moving from a coal town to a steel town meant more opportunity for my dad, and he met my mom. Her life had a history of wealth later immense loss, and death of her parents; she scraped by while caring for her younger brother. Together with my parents only saw “up” from where they were when their romance began.
To them, we were rich, and I always felt lucky and wealthy. It is a great way to start life, appreciating everything and believing all things are possible.
It stemmed from being a later in life baby. My parents were depression people, but unlike so many, they didn’t have the ‘lack mentality.’ Instead, they chose to look at life as great. That kind of attitude is infectious; each of us kids caught it and used it to say yes to our own life.
Did I have doubt, did I have fears or worries heck who doesn’t. It’s hard to learn to trust yourself, and we have the world telling us what perfect looks like. It sure didn’t look like a steel mill! Sometimes we listen to all the other chatter and forget that we don’t have to doubt ourselves. Youth plays a part too I think.
It was my choice to make life a struggle. We are always at choice. A big part of me longed to venture to a bigger life, a bigger place. Off I went right in the middle of college not caring if I would have to start over or not, I needed to go, and that was all I knew.
My faith in myself strong I knew I could be successful at whatever came to me. You might think it silly, but I knew if I wanted a job it was mine. I knew if I wanted a promotion it would come. I knew I had power and sometimes when we know we have this amazing ability, we forget or take it for granted.
We lose ourselves for some reason and step off track maybe even settle; thinking our big life passion has passed us by and happiness is a dream for others. You know that thing you know you’re meant to do, but maybe right now you’re unsure how to do it or exactly what it is.
I felt like that, so I just had fun. I met my husband having fun. Yip I had started on a path of working in health and wellness yet I decided to become a stock broker. I know – WHAT! I always say I went there to meet Kevin the love of my life. I also grew by this experience and ventured into other types of entrepreneurial life. I had no one to teach me. I read books, took classes, and followed gurus. In the end, I used all I had learned about business, life, and technology to grow my own business as a healthcare provider, speaker, and coach. I became immensely successful but I wasn’t happy.
Our life was so rocky in our early times, I tried to crawl out of self-doubt and fear only to skid down the side of pain. I always say these were the dark years. No, it’s not a romance gone bad story despite the hatred sent my way by others because I was the wrong type of woman, the wrong ethnic background, and the wrong religion. We didn’t let anyone stop us from having a wonderful family together and staying together. If you want to talk drama, I lived it for a time. My self-worth shot, my confidence gone, my life filled with fear that paralyzed me. I had settled for a life controlled by others and I hated myself. You may be just coming up out of this sad place we let ourselves go that stalls our success and happiness.
The dark years simply mean that. I forgot my possibilities. I let others control my life and my decisions. People were put into my life to help me learn how to deal with rejection, hate, judgment, and abuse. It was a time of great loss for me. I become so depressed I was waiting to die. Now it seems stupid. Really stupid.
You’ve gone through something too I’m sure, and it made you stronger. For me, this time was rough, yet it was necessary for me to grow and be where I am now. I had settled for so little because I was deemed unworthy by others. You too have come to an end, and it’s time to grow professional and personally. It’s just a matter of support and taking it into the right actions for you.
This is why I love my work.
It was a hard and long journey. I don’t want that for you. At one point, I begged that Super Power [whatever name you give it.] to help me. It did or maybe I just found the top of a very big mountain I put in my road but I learned how to bring together all the things I knew with ease and grace. It’s like a glimmering light that has filled me inside and out. A clarity and knowing of who I am and my Big Yes. This is my work.
Helping others especially women or those who are emerging from their dark years is what I do. You’ve likely read a lot of books. They might have kept you sane when others told you ‘your dreams were silly.’ Maybe you’ve taken a ton of workshops only to fall off the success wagon a few weeks later as life goes back to the ‘old way.’
I remember setting goals and making plans then later saying if only I had support; I could accomplish this or that. It was when the art of coaching or mentoring wrapped its heart around my shoulders that I knew my Big Yes.
Clients who were actually patients started coming for reasons other than health. They even began referring others; some wanted to work with me by phone because they lived in other states! Then others countries like China, and the Middle East. They’d say things like,
“My daughter and I are at odds over the new shoes I bought. She thinks I spend too much money, do you think I do? “[giving up your power to another]
“My boss just offered me a promotion, but I have never done this job before. He says I will be trained but what if I can’t do it? “[fear or feeling un-worthy]
“I took this course over the weekend and did fine for a few days, but now I’m having trouble putting it into goals and going after my dream – Dr. Deb can you help me? “
“Somehow, I get started but I lose my stride. I really need you to coach me. “
That was it. I was coaching and mentoring. I was doing healing at a new level. Thank God because I was ready.
It’s decades now. Whether it’s a podcast, a webinar, online course or coaching I love seeing people become courageous. I love seeing others succeed in their relationships, career, health, heck their entire life.
Making life work can be tough and you need support, then it’s simple. Remember I have been there too. Maybe you had a life altering event as well? I did. I had only one choice other than death that’s when I realized while I was waiting to die, I didn’t want to die.
Working with many coaches and mentors added skills from so many industries to my toolbox. I know the voice of inner wisdom too. I had to do it and did it alone because there was no one to help me. I don’t want it to be that way for you.
I can’t tell you who was the best coach for me because everything I am is a part of everything that’s happened to me and for me, in my life.
The work I do is my own.
I know how to get straight and keep you there too. It’s all about the tiny right actions that lead to the big Yes. It’ about self-growth that only you can do for you. It’s about you as a professional whatever it is you do and about you as a person. I can guide you, I can break it done, I can help you get clear and stay motivated, but I can’t do it for you.
My work is with people who have settled in the past and are ready to stop. They may have an idea or direction they want to go. They might possess the skills just not the knowledge of how to take the steps or the motivation and want that consistent coach. My clients are aware there’s a connection between their belief systems and how their world is turning out and are ready to gently shift this consciousness. They know there is a connection between body-mind and happiness and gratitude but need help navigating this and the personal-professional life balance. Some would call me a Spiritual Business Coach others would say I am a Whole Life Coach.
Are you ready to try this? I am ready to see how we fit together in this adventure of your Big Yes. You can start anyplace including listening to the podcast or joining the membership for a daily lift.
I hope to be talking to you soon.